My Family, My other sister - Part 1

I had an interesting childhood.  My earliest memories were actually that of stealing an eraser from a hardware store and then getting caught.  I never walked past that hardware store again, EVER.

I have some vague memories which involved meeting my new sister.  Now that sounds strange but yes, its true.  There was a time suddenly in my early teens when my parents started fighting a lot.  The arguments were endless.  My father in the heat of arguments would throw things out the back door.  Nothing was spared, first the kettle, then pots, then plates and even the kitchen chairs, of which there were only 2, but they went.  All I could remember was the name Edith.  Edith whoever she was certainly caused a few problems in my home.

I could never work out what on earth was going on but always thought whey does Edith not come and make herself known here.  So it turns out that prior to my Dad and Mom dating my dad (according to him) had a 1 night stand.  Yes they did it back then too.  The arguments between my mom and dad started when my dad was summoned to court to appear at some trial or the other.  It turns out that he needed to be identified because he now had another daughter who was conceived out of one night of passion.  

I remembered going to this house in Aubrey street for weeks on end but never going inside, we always had to sit in the car as kids and mom was never with.  You see mom started drinking at this point and blamed it all on Edith.  It turns out that Edith's daughter, my new sister was inside this house and was not willing to come out at all.  Time heals everything and finally we met.  Getting to know Bernadette was interesting.  You see I was this shy introverted 13 year that would wet his pants whenever he spoke to a girl so spending time with my new sister was extremely awkward.  I had no idea what to say to her and I think the feeling was the same.  So dad often fetched Bernie from Aubrey Street to spend a day with us, but whenever she left the drinking would start and the fights would ensue.  It was traumatic for us as kids as whenever the drinking started, Edith would pitch up in conversation and the weekend was wrecked.

Fast forward a few years, we'd all grown up, Bernie had 2 kids and it was dad's funeral.  My first regret was not acknowledging Bernie in my speech as one of dad's kids.  I didn't realise it then but it actually affected me many years later, actually only in 2018.  You see I had moved to Johannesburg at this point and my contact with all things family except for Renata was becoming more and more non-existent.  Once my mom had passed it was as if I could wipe my hands off family, this too affected me in later years.  I had now moved to Cape Town and virtually stopped contacting any family except to Aunty Tisha who was like a second mother to me growing up.  Whenever the fighting started, we ran up to Aunty Tisha and she would dash down to our house in an attempt to keep the peace and avoid the embarrassment with the neighbours. 

I moved to Cape Town in 1995 and for many years did not visit my hometown nor keep in contact with anyone.  In 2011 I won a competition and took my family to Shamwari Game reserve as part of the prize.  In a brief stopover, I contacted all my family and friends to meet us at breakfast on the PE beachfront.  It was here that my friendship with my sister really started, I felt like the time had come to connect with my family again.  I had felt disconnected for so long.  Aside from the love that I had experienced from my wife and kids and my sister in London, it still felt like I was missing a limb and my relationship with Bernie was on track.  I melted when she walked into the restaurant and felt complete.  I could not stop talking to her and hugging her, she was so gorgeous.

I make it a point of keeping in touch today.  When her and Ensull celebrated their 25th Anniversary they went to the Garden Route to celebrate.  At the drop of a hat I decided to go to Knysna and got to have breakfast with them.  It was priceless and no amount of money or time could replace that moment.  It was a special time for me and the connection was awesome.

A few weeks ago, I felt God tugging at me to chat to her about her life story

 I cried through a fair share of the conversation as I did not realise just how tough a life she had.  She deserves so much love and marrying Ensull was so good 

My family loves you Bernie and its so great to have you in my life and in the lives our family.

To those reading this, Bernie is busy typing up her story to put on my blog so just hold on to your seats for her version of events.